Welcome to Lagartija™

Buenos dias. Mi nombre es Vicente Campbello. Soy un niño gordo. Welcome to my world of Lagartija™. Please don't ask me why "Lagartija™". That's a Spanish word for "little lizard", I think. I obtained that word from a Bauhaus song called "Lagartija Nick". It seemed like a cool word so I stuck with it.

This site is designed to be my personal site. I've done many sites over the past couple years and none of them have really been personal in nature. I'm actually quite against the "personal site paradigm" where someone puts up personal info about themselves thinking that others will care. I am trying to accomplish the same task for absurd reasons. Reasons that I cannot delve into because... well... I just cannot.

I will be very blatant about the makeup of this site now. This site is web hosted by innerhost.com. Originally, I was sharing some web space with a friend of mine called Serge. We both had the same IP address web-hosted by innerhost.com. He bought the domain name pt-fans.com, his version of a Porcupine Tree American website. I bought the domain name thirdfrequency.com for my band, Third Frequency (that I'll get into later). Both domain names pointed to the same place so we directed any calls to thirdfrequency.com to the directory /3f. So as time moved on and on and on, I realized the need to split from Serge and get my own IP address. There were many factors for this: there was spacial issues; jealously on my part that pt-fans.com got about 10 times more hits than thirdfrequency.com; and a need for another domain name. So I split with Serge and got the domain name lagartija.com for no apparant reason other than I thought the word "lagartija" was cool. And thirdfrequency.com still points to a /3f directory. I originally had no idea what I would do for lagartija.com. I thought at first I can make it a cool Programming Language portal integrated with personal poems, stories, guitar tabs, and other non-niceties from my influence. Here is a view of a very terrible first design and implementation step. But I digress. I decided that, well... my baby site, the love of my life site is thirdfrequency.com and I could never duplicate the lurv I had for it. So, to make a long story short, I decided that lagartija.com should be a very personal site about myself for no apparant reason other than it was the reason I had at the time. Baahhh! BAAAHHHH!

At this point, if you're still reading, I truly feel sorry for you. But that's okay. I'm not holding a gun and a pack of sandwiches at your head.

So, who the fucht am I? Well I'll tell you. I'm a normal dead Joe living in today's crazy world. I walk and breathe (painfully) trying to comprehend what's around me and how I fit. Work-wise, I'm a guy who works at Braun Research, a market research firm in Princeton, NJ. I'm the Director of Internet Operations there. Basically I make sure that we have a workable online survey platform (which accounts for 5% of my time there); the other 95% is devoted to programming telephone surveys using the CATI system and running data tabulations under (sometimes) tight tight schedules. Before my stunt with Braun Research I was part of a dot-com company called Work.com (a B2B portal that wasn't really B2B). The company folded in March, 2001 which led to a lot of things including the non-existent Self-Parody song "Don Hutchinfuk". Well, enough of my corporate woes -- if you care, you can check out my resume right here.

I am also the guitarist for a very good band called Third Frequency. I've been in 3F for more than 7 years now and we've had our ups and downs but I think we're headed into some pretty cool and unknown territory - which somewhat scares me. I'm also in a band called Self-Parody (initially called Tragic Something) which I formed for the sole purpose of entering in a band competition. (Also formed it after 3F broke up temporarily in the year 2000). Self-Parody is kinda my esoteric musical release. I've already released a 5-song EP under Self-Parody called Lipsticks & Pussy. If you want a copy just email me - I promise you, you won't like it.

Ahhh, but most most importantly, I have a very, very cool fiance. And you can gather from the pictures what she looks like (isn't she beautiful). You can also read ome, a poem I wrote for her (my first poem for her). I won't get sappy about her but I can tell you that I don't think I can literally function without her. She is my better half. And that's all I have to say about that. If you want you can also listen to a real audio version of a disturbing MIDI song I wrote for her called Deriving Melissa. (While you're at it check out real audio versions of my MIDI songs Funnel Vision and Jigsaw Jesus. Don't ask me why I put the MIDI songs in real audio format.) Okay, enough...

I am a computer geek. I admit it. My favourite programming language is Perl. (Oh yeah, check out Larry Wall, a real audio MIDI'd song I wrote for the creator of Perl). Other programming languages I know (some of them I wish I didn't): Java, C, C++, Qbasic, Omnimark, C# (well .NET stuff), and my own bastardized version of Visual T++. Actually, there is no such language as "Visual T++". That was a lie. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... I'm also a pretty well-versed XML/SGML person (well, isn't everyone by now). If you want to have a conversation about these types of things feel free to contact me. Development-wise, I'm currently working on four projects - one of which I can't disclose. But the other three are these (if you care): (1) A robust online web surveying platform (written completely in Java), and (2) a Gnutella client (written in C#.NET) -- Just for fun, and (3) A simple demographic phone VoiceXML application (which I'm still deciding whether to J2EE or .NET it). Blah blah blah...

I also write stories and poems on my own free time (which I don't have much of anymore). I'll probably place links to some story and poem pages I have. Well, you can check out murderweb.com, a site I haven't updated in almost two years. I'm also a music freak. I love music. I love playing it and listening to it. Don't ask me what my musical tastes are. They're just very varied. Bands I listen to consist of Nick Cave, Sixteen Horsepower, Jeff Buckley and other stuff. I'm into Dylan a lot. I have like 30 of his albums. No one can put that guy down. Damn, this is getting boring with me talking about all this stuff...

I may write more stuff in the future but I'd only be kidding myself. For now, enjoy the text of this page for the mere fact that it is - TEXT. Text is a very beautiful thing you know. Without text, think: where would you be? At this point I want to make it perfectly clear that I cannot be perfectly clear. I want it to be known that my mind is sometimes cluttered with thoughts filled with mucous and blood. But I do have some basic thoughts and ideologies. If you care to read on I will explain them and hope you won't hate me. My basic philosophy, summed up quite cleverly by a Jane's Addiction song is this: "Ain't no wrong, there ain't no right. There's only pleasure and pain." I believe in the absolute universe that this principle is true. I believe on a relative scale, though, that there has to be these entities "right" and "wrong". My basic thoughts and the psyche that suppresses my serial killer instincts lie on this very foundation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not existential. I do cry when I see a funny movie and laugh when I see someone die. It's just normal instincts. And believe me: I do love everybody, including nobody. But in an absolute space of time there is following: :-) + :-( = :-|. If you don't know what that means that's okay.

BTW, my favourite movie is The Big Lebowski. I just thought I'd mention that for no apparant reason. Well, I did for a reason. I kinda wish I was the dude. I kinda wish I can just live life on the whim and go "ahh, fock it" at the end of the day. "You have your ups and downs but hey, life goes on," is what the Dude says. I think that's the most normal thing I can say at this time. Just glad to say it. Well, that's all I have to say at this time.

Thank you. Have a nice life and death.

Coming Soon: My screenplay for an upcoming film of mine, The Demoralization of Bill Cosbi. That and a bastardized script for the non-PC movie called El Baño Rojo.

Email me: horsedevours@hotmail.com

© 2002 Winston Campbell Jr.